Flattery – Proverbs 26:28b

A flattering mouth works ruin.

Good intentioned people sometimes confuse flattery with kindness.  In our desire to encourage others, we may find ourselves setting aside the truth to speak flattering words, which at their core are false and manipulative, unacceptable to the Lord, and irreconcilable with the Word’s instruction to keep from speaking deceit.[1]  Therefore, we need to post a sentry to guard our lips against flattery in any form.  If it is not true, we should not say it.  Further, though our words may be true, if our intention is to ingratiate ourselves to another, we are not walking in the truth since we have duplicitous motives, which are inappropriate for those who desire to live in the light of righteousness, rather than the darkness of deception.

We need to examine the root of our flattery and challenge our defense of it, for flattery, in spite of its gracious delivery, flows out of the abominations of the heart.[2]  Having been born in a desire to deceive another or to elevate oneself in its recipient’s eyes, flattery will not produce good results.  Instead, in the extreme, it heaps hatred and contempt on the ones who are flattered while bringing about the ruin of the flatterer. 

Just as we are to keep our lips from speaking flattery,[3] neither are we to naively receive the exaltations of those who would flatter us with words rooted in untruth lest we be deceived into thinking we are something we are not.[4]  We do ourselves a greater service when we embrace the friend who will rebuke us in honesty and love, than we do by cozying up to those who lie to us with soothing, obsequious tongues, leading us down a path of destruction.[5]

Follow the model of our Lord Jesus Christ, who spoke no deceit.[6]  Having tasted the kindness of the Lord, remove flattery from your repertoire, replacing it with truthful, honoring words of affirming kindness, uplifting praise, and sincere acknowledgment lavished on those around you.  Put on truth and dispense it with love; wear it as one wears a fine, handcrafted garment.  Wrap it around those you encounter throughout your day, warming them, and you will find its ministrations far more desirable than flattery and falsehood.[7]

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[1] Psalm 34:13

[2] Proverbs 26:25

[3] Job 32:21

[4] Romans 16:18, Romans 12:3 

[5] Proverbs 27:5, Proverbs 26:28

[6] Isaiah 53:9

[7] Proverbs 20:28