Betrayal – Romans 2:3
But do you suppose this, O man, when you pass judgment on those who practice such things and do the same yourself, that you will escape the judgment of God?
Have you ever learned that someone upon whom you have poured out your love, time, and resources has betrayed your friendship by gossiping about you and judging you harshly? Have those from whom you would have most expected respect, kindness, and affection misjudged you? I have, and when I learned of such a betrayal, I was stunned, angry, disappointed, and, most of all, hurt. I had believed that my friends would love me and extend grace to me even when my missteps and imperfections were apparent.
I found myself crying to the Father, “This Christian walk is too hard and relationships too painful.” Yet, I knew it would be detrimental and sinful to allow my anger to fester.[1] The cost to my family and me for harbored bitterness would be too high.[2] As I agonized, the Lord reminded me of the times I had judged others, and my ears burned with unkind words I had spoken, harsher words than those spoken of me.
The Lord used the pain of another’s judgment to show me the grievousness of my sins against others. The penetrating light of truth shone on my failure to love and uphold others, exposed times when I spoke words that would have deeply wounded their victims had they known about them.[3] With my own failure to love so nakedly before my eyes, the injustice I had endured lost its potency.[4] I ran into the arms of the only righteous Judge,[5] throwing the injustice against me into the Sea of Forgiveness along with my own confessed sins. Armed with a refreshed perspective, I asked the Lord to remove judgmental thoughts from me and to keep me from speaking against others. I prayed that He would give me a pure heart, one cleansed of the deceitfulness that had allowed me to commit unkindness against another.[6]
Although this friend’s betrayal and my ensuing introspection were painful, I learned that by the Lord’s grace, reconciliation and truer friendship could result from them. As I allowed the Lord to purify my heart and soften my spirit, I could but thank Him for the pearl of revelation He formed out of my brokenness.
Lace my words with grace and kindness
Use them to exhort and edify
Keep them pure from idle gossip
That would the Way and Truth defy
Help me to be entrusted
With the missteps of my friends
To cover over their mistakes
Keeping silent to the end
Stop my guile and flattery
Used to manipulate or charm
Stand guard against thoughtless words
That might cause my brother harm
May I hold back from another
A rude or brusque reply
Cut off my senseless chatter
That may my family’s patience try
Let me understand the power
The spoken word can wield
So I’ll use ones of excellence
That produce a kingdom yield
[1] Ephesians 4:26
[2] Hebrews 12:15
[3] Ecclesiastes 7:22
[4] Matthew 7:3-5
[5] Genesis 18:25
[6] Psalm 24:3-4
