Letting Go – Ecclesiastes 3:1

There is an appointed time for everything.  And there is a time for every event under heaven.

On a visit to my parents, I learned that my dad had received a death sentence that day.  The results of a bone marrow biopsy showed that he had acute leukemia, and he had only two to four months to live.  Although he was approaching ninety, my dad had been amazingly healthy until his first symptoms showed up two weeks earlier.  He had walked every day, kept up his home, driven his car, and tended to his own affairs.  For ten years, he took care of my mom, a stroke victim, with tenderness and loving-kindness.

Shocked and broken hearted, I cried out to the Lord, and my faithful Lord reminded me that He had formed my father in his mother’s womb, and that He enclosed him by the shelter of His kindness.[1]  He gave me a glimmer of understanding into the breadth, and length, and depth, and height of His love for my father.[2]  He settled my troubled heart as I asked Him to bring my thoughts and desires into alignment with His, and His Spirit interceded for me according to the will of God, for I did not know how to pray.[3]  As I laid my heavy burden at His feet, the Lord gave me spiritual eyes to see the riches of the glory of my dad’s inheritance in heaven,[4] and He gave me a spirit of gratitude for the privilege of having my beloved parents with me for so long.

I let my father go during that long night of weeping and prayer.  Graciously, the Lord gave my yielded heart the opportunity to share all that was within it in a letter to him, which he read in my presence as we wept over the imminent changes that we knew were part of God’s plan, changes that would come in His perfect timing.  While I shed many tears in the days that followed, I fixed my eyes on the Lord, and He carried me through the sorrow of my loss into the light of greater trust, faith, and hope.  I knew that my father believed in Jesus Christ, and that he would not be disappointed in the glorious future the Holy Father had prepared for him.[5]

In the depths of trial, praise God, for He is eternally faithful to care for His beloved.  Though your soul weeps and your mind revolts at your present sorrow, trust in the Lord’s loving-kindness and your muted heart will find its voice and sing for joy.[6]

My letter to my dad:

Dear Dad,

When I first learned of your illness, I felt my heart would break.  Knowing that you will be leaving us sooner than we had hoped is a heavy blow.  I knew you would be called away sometime from this temporary residence to your real home in heaven to be with God, but I didn’t want it to be just yet.  I wanted to have you here with me always. 

As I attempt to follow the Lord’s instruction to be anxious for nothing, but to pray about everything with thanksgiving, the Lord is giving me a revelation of how truly blessed we have been.  I think with joy at all the wonderful times we have had over these many years.  I see you, Mom, and me out to dinner just a few short weeks ago, as we had done so many, many times, eating to our hearts’ content, laughing and enjoying the treasure of time together.  I see the huge forbidden desserts we shared, scraping the plate clean.  These are sweet memories for me.  I have tender vignettes in my mind of you both delighting in the generations of little children who you have loved so dearly and enjoyed so thoroughly.  I see our wonderful family at parties, reunions, vacations, blessed events, any occasion to get together, and my heart rejoices that God has given me the privilege of being your daughter and having you and Mom not only as my much-loved and respected parents, but also as my friends.  I thank God for His graciousness and exceedingly abundant blessings upon us.

I don’t want you to go, but I entrust you to our heavenly Father for His love for you is so much wider and deeper than mine could ever be.  I know Jesus has prepared a place for you in His Father’s mansion within the gates of His beautiful city on a hill, a city that has no need of the sun or moon, for the glory of God illuminates it, and the Lord is its lamp.  In this place, He will dry your tears and heal your wounds.  You will never again know sorrow, mourning, or pain, for He makes all things new.  You will stand before the King of kings, no longer seeing the things of God in a mirror dimly, but face to face; no longer knowing in part, but knowing in full just as you have been fully known by God.

Dad, I pray that you will not be afraid.  As you have loved and trusted God always, love and trust Him now.   Trust Him as you lay your burdens down at the feet of Jesus Christ.  Cast your cares on Him knowing that He cares for you, and His loving-kindness will surround you and sustain you.  Draw near the throne of God’s grace, and you will receive mercy and find grace to help you in this time of need.  Know that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate you from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus.

If the Father takes you first, do not worry about Mom.  Denny, Di, Terry, Debbie, and I love her, and we will see that she is well cared for until the time when the Father calls her to Himself, and you and she will be together again.  Whether she tarries with us long or but for a short time, your separation will seem like a mere instant, for one day with the Lord is like a thousand years. 

When the Lord calls you, go in peace, my beloved father, knowing that you taught your children well.  Your example of faithfulness, integrity, strength, humility, and honor leave us with a beautiful legacy.  Your steadfast commitment to your faith, family, and convictions has built strong character into each of us.  Watching you care for mom with the loving-kindness, tenderness, and compassion of an angel these past ten years has been lovely to behold.  Thank you for teaching me so many valuable things as you quietly lived out your beliefs.

As I pray for you and Mom, I can but ask the Lord to bring my thoughts and desires into alignment with His.  He is showing me His graciousness in taking you while you are still young at heart, strong in body and mind, capable and dignified.  My selfishness to have you with me is not so great that I would deny you the joy and gain of going to heaven according to God’s timetable, for His timing is perfect, and He works all things to good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. 

I love you, Dad, and when you have gone, I will miss you greatly.  While I will suffer from the loss of your companionship, I know the Lord will anoint me with the oil of gladness to replace my mourning, for I have His assurance that you will be in Paradise with Him, and I know that in the proper time, I will be reunited with you. 

Until that time, may the Lord bless you and keep you in Christ Jesus.

[1] Psalm 139:5-13

[2] Ephesians 3:17-19

[3] Romans 8:26-27

[4] Ephesians 1:18

[5] Romans 10:11

[6] Isaiah 35:6